My Soul is Bald.

I got word early this morning that one of my cancer sisters as hospitalized and in a lot of pain. I stopped by to take her flowers and was astonished at her suffering. That intense suffering is always overwhelming even for us that have traveled in that dark valley. But what was so difficult for me to understand...was amidst that agony she was trying diligently to wear her wig....Of course it was too far forward and in her eyes. I remember that discomfort. I tried the wig thing until...one day I realized I was enduring the constant discomfort...along with chemo pain...so others could be comfortable. What a silly thing! I realized I was who I was with or without hair. I took it off and never wore one again. Others got accustomed to seeing me bald.
We, as women spend too much time worrying about our appearance. We are schooled young.. I'm not saying it is pure vanity... It is important to look good to feel good about yourself. it is just such a small thing compared to the appearance of your heart and soul. I have looked closely at my soul...It is bald..and I'm proud of it...its a kind soul.. bald but kind.

Just ask...

This beautiful Sunday morning I am reflecting over the past week...The flower shop really needed a new display cooler. An opportunity presented and I needed to raise $1500. Not much really...but that would have to be in excess of the daily expenses. I asked the universe for help, siting the exact amount I needed. My faith was not strong...One of my most trusted wholesalers told me this week and next is traditionally the slowest weeks of the year in the floral industry. She looked in my cooler, seeing how full and well stocked it was exclaimed "OH my!"..She shook her head..as if I would be eating all those flowers. I enjoyed the Labor Day Weekend with family and did not even go in to the shop until early Tuesday AM. I allowed Shelly to work that day to make up for the Monday off with caution. I did not even put on make up, just stuck a cap on my head and went in to just open and come home.. The phone was ringing as I opened the door and it did not stop until closing... A prominent citizen had passed away over the weekend and his viewing was scheduled for Tuesday evening....Shelly and I created nearly thirty beautiful pieces including the casket spray... The total was 30 cents off my sited need. My son-in-law asked if next time I might include a little extra for spending money..... I think the terms of grace is "sufficient for your needs."..not wants....Expenses were made...and the cooler purchased. Trusting in grace is difficult. (trusting for me in any form is difficult.) But my children...it will work..

Family Ties

Yesterday I published half of the wrong message. I am still working out the mechanics of the site….here is the message…
This weekend I am reminded about the family ties that bind us..
How we are intrinsically bound by blood and bone. Friendship ebb and flow in and out of our lives.. As employment, activities, interests change so do the associations we make with friends. We move on…and sometimes friendship no matter how genuine. slip away. Some friendship are taxing…they require much of us. There are those rare friendships that evolve and change as we do to enrich our lives remaining close in heart if not by association. As I battled with a house full of sisters, growing up, my mother cautioned me that I would move and friends would change but my sisters would always know where I was and care for me… It is so true…
Yesterday many of us planned a day at the state fair. As we were preparing to leave…word came that my son-in-law had been involved in a serious head on crash. .In moments we were mobilized.. Communications between us kept us moving in the right direction and allowed us to be there. We supported Chelle, and rushed aid to Justin in every way we could think of. At times Chelle has seen this family involvement…as ties that bound her….not a security blanket of caring but somewhat intrusive and smothering. I understand that genuine feeling as the youngest; she can be overwhelmed by the intensity of the circle. The girls bicker and quarrel at times and it is difficult for me to observe…often seeing the bigger picture. But in milliseconds all grievances disappear. The situation is another miracle in our lives as he is safe and well, stiff and sore, bruised and broken, stitched and bandaged, but alive and well. The only “real” tragedy to him is his hunting bow was smashed in the seat next to him and he is mourning, this first week of hunting season.

Not only does the emergency bind us together but we enjoy each others company in recreation and fun. We have many of the same interests…We genuinely enjoy being together… That is the legacy of family…Mother was right…Mothers are always right…